Thursday, October 09, 2014

Deliver Me, O God / Reminders to Myself

Lately, my emotions and thoughts have been up and down. I'll wake up feeling completely hopeless, and by the end of the day I'll feel peaceful and contented. Or I'll start out the day filled with joy and by the end of the day, I'll be depleted of all happiness I had mere hours ago. There's no better word to describe it other than chaotic. Not the insanely crazy kind of chaotic, just always the small battle in the back of my mind and that comes to fruition when I'm by myself and can reflect.

So in these times, I pray. Sometimes even the simplest of prayers, one or two sentences to realign my thoughts. That's all I can do to calm my heart. I am being pulled every which way, having to make decisions and face changes and coming to realizations that I don't want to think about.

When I feel chaos, the Lord reminds me that He is constant. That I am so loved. That I am worth loving. That I matter and have a purpose and a calling. For I am nothing without Christ and his sacrifice. Reminders through simple text messages from friends, reading the word, or encouraging conversations throughout the day.

Audrey Assad came and put on a wonderful, worship filled concert last Monday at our school and this was also a reminder I needed. I identify with her songs; they are intricate and complex and real and beautiful. I believe she is one of the most talented songwriters I've ever had the pleasure of listening to- thank you Jesus for making such beautiful things we can relate to and see you by. 'I Shall Not Want' is the cry of my heart and to hear it live was such a wonderful experience.

"From the love of my own comfort

From the fear of having nothing
From a life of worldly passions
Deliver me, O God.

From the need to be understood
From the need to be accepted
From the fear of being lonely
Deliver me, O God.

And I shall not want, I shall not want.
When I taste Your goodness I shall not want.

From the fear of serving others
From the fear of death or trial
From the fear of humility
Deliver me, O God.

And I shall not want, I shall not want.
When I taste Your goodness, I shall not want."

I listen and praise the God who satisfies. Do you hear that truth? He satistfies. Always. Yesterday, today and forever the same. I ask Him to deliver me from these fears and I pray that you would also-

So we can have freedom.